Navigating Hungarian Social Norms and Etiquette in Everyday Life

Budapest, Hungary's capital, is a beautiful city filled with rich history, stunning architecture, and a vibrant cultural scene. As a foreigner visiting Budapest or just doing business in Hungary, it's advisable to understand local social norms and habits, as well as what is considered acceptable and unacceptable behavior. This guide will help you navigate the social intricacies of Budapest, covering greetings, visiting others, social interactions, dining etiquette, tipping, public transportation behavior, attending a theater performance, and how to act in social settings.

Greetings and Social Interactions

In Hungary, greetings are generally formal, particularly when meeting someone for the first time. Men typically shake hands, and handshakes are firm and short, accompanied by direct eye contact. Among close friends, men might pat each other's backs, but this is less common in formal settings.

When greeting women, men are expected to wait for the woman to extend her hand first. If she doesn't, a simple nod or verbal greeting like "Jó napot!" (Good day) or "Jó napot kívánok!" (Wishing you a good day) is appropriate.

Among friends and family, women (but these days many young men as well) greet each other with kisses on the cheek - usually placing two (superficial) kisses, starting with the right cheek. The informal greeting in Hungarian is "Szia" (Hello) for greeting one person and "Sziasztok" when greeting more people - this form can also be used to say goodbye. Hugging is acceptable between close friends and family members only.

For foreigners, if you're unsure of the appropriate level of formality, it's best to wait for the local to initiate the greeting and follow their lead.

Formal and Informal language

Hungarian, like many European languages, has a formal and informal way of addressing others. When addressing someone in a formal setting or someone older, people are expected to use the formal "Ön" (formal you) form of speech. It's polite to address people with their last name first, followed by their title, especially in professional settings (e.g., Dr., Professor). For example, "Tóth úr" (Mr. Tóth) or "Kovács asszony" (Mrs. Kovács). Specific to the Hungarian language that names are written and used with the last name/surname coming first, then the given/first name last (e.g. Kovács Péter). Even if you do not speak Hungarian (it is very rare that a foreigner can fluently speak the language, Hungarian being one of the most difficult languages to learn), you can still show respect in formal settings non-verbally.

Switching to informal language ("te" = informal you) is typically reserved for friends, family members, or after the other person explicitly suggests it. If someone offers, "tegeződhetünk?" (Can we use the informal you?), it means they are inviting you to use informal language, which is a sign of closeness. In mixed gender situations, only the female partner can offer switching to the informal language, but not the male.

If you can learn some Hungarian words (for the correct pronunciation please check e.g. relevant youtube videos), it will be greatly appreciated by locals:

Thank you - Köszönöm (pronunciation: 'ö' is the same as 'i' in the word 'girl', 'sz' is like 's' in 'sea')

Thank you very much - Köszönöm szépen ("szépen" is roughly pronounced "say-pen")

Please - Kérem (roughly pronounced "keh-rem")

You're welcome - Szívesen (roughly pronounced "see-vesh-en")

Hello / hi! - Szia (singular - roughly pronounced "see-ya") - Sziasztok! (plular - roughly pronounced "see-ya-stok")

How are you? - Hogy vagy? (informal - roughly pronounced "hoj-vaj") - Hogy van? (formal - roughly pronounced "hoj-van")

Sorry - Bocsánat (roughly pronounced "bo-cha-nut")

Yes - Igen (pronunciation: 'i' is the same as 'i' in 'fit', 'g' is the same as 'g' in 'garlic')

No - Nem (pronunciation: 'e' is the same as 'e' in 'pen')

No, thanks - Nem, köszönöm

Pardon / I beg your pardon - Tessék? (roughly pronounced "tesh-shake")

Enjoy your meal! (or: bon appetit) - Jó étvágyat! (roughly pronounced "yoh-et-vah-jut")

Cheers!/Bless you (when sneezing) - Egészségedre! (informal - roughly pronounced "e-geh-sheg-ed-re") / Egészségére! (formal - roughly pronounced "e-geh-sheg-e-re)

Visiting Others and Accepting Invitations

Visiting a Hungarian Home

If you're invited to a Hungarian home, it's considered an honor, and you should take the invitation seriously. When visiting someone’s home, it's customary to bring a small gift, such as flowers for the lady of the house, chocolate, or a bottle of wine. Be careful when choosing flowers: ensure that the bouquet has an odd number of flowers, and also avoid red roses (as these are reserved for more romantic situations).

Punctuality is highly valued in Hungary, especially for social gatherings. Arriving late without notifying the host is considered disrespectful. If you know you'll be delayed, a quick phone call or message to the host is appreciated.

Shoes Inside the Home

Hungarians often remove their shoes upon entering a home, and guests are typically expected to do the same. It’s common for hosts to provide slippers, so you don’t need to worry about walking barefoot. When in doubt, simply observe what the locals do or politely ask, "Should I take off my shoes?"

Acceptable Behavior Among Family Members and Friends

Hungarian families tend to be close-knit, and family gatherings are an important part of life. Family members typically show affection, often greeting each other with hugs and kisses. However, relationships with friends and acquaintances may remain more formal, at least initially.

When among friends, especially after a few interactions, Hungarians become more open and relaxed. It's common to engage in lively discussions on various topics, especially over food or drinks. However, discussions about politics and history can be sensitive, particularly topics related to Hungary’s complex past (such as World War I-II, the Soviet occupation, the Socialist/Iron curtain era between 1949-1989). If you’re unsure about how to navigate a conversation, it's best to avoid controversial topics unless the other person initiates it.

Dining Etiquette

At Restaurants and in Public

Hungarians take pride in their culinary heritage, and dining etiquette is important in both casual and formal settings. When dining out, particularly at upscale restaurants, it's customary to dress well (some upscale restaurants require men to wear a suit and tie). Budapest has a rich café and dining culture, so casual wear is fine at many places, but avoid overly casual attire like shorts and T-shirts at more formal restaurants.

Table Manners

When invited to dine at someone’s home or at a restaurant, it's considered polite to wait until the host is seated and begins eating before you start. Additionally, if you're dining with others, wait for everyone’s food to arrive before starting your meal (unless you have ordered a starter, but the others did not). In Hungary, it's also polite to keep your hands visible while eating (resting them on the table but not your elbows). It's common to say “Egészségedre!” (Cheers/to your health) before drinking, but only when alcoholic drinks are involved.

Sharing Food and Ordering

In restaurants, it’s not common to share food directly from your plate unless dining with close friends or family. Hungarians appreciate when their guests enjoy the food, so feel free to compliment the meal if it’s to your liking.

Tipping Culture

Tipping is an essential part of dining culture in Hungary, and it's expected in most situations. The standard tip is 10-15% of the total bill. Some restaurants may include service charges, so check the bill before adding a tip. Unlike some other countries, tipping is not usually left on the table; instead, it's customary to tell the waiter/waitress the total amount you want to pay, including the tip. For example, if your meal costs 9,000 forints and you wish to tip 1,000 forints, you can say "10,000 forint, kérem." In casual settings like cafés, it's still customary to tip, but it can be a bit lower (around 5-10%). Tipping is also appreciated in other service sectors, such as hairdressers, taxi drivers, and hotel staff.

Public Transport Social Norms and Etiquette

Budapest has an extensive and efficient public transportation system that includes buses, trams, metro lines, and trains. To make the most of your journey and avoid inadvertently upsetting locals, it's important to follow these guidelines:

Buying Tickets

Always make sure to have a valid ticket before boarding public transportation. You can purchase tickets at metro stations, kiosks, or through mobile apps. Budapest has a robust ticket-checking system, and riding without a ticket can result in hefty fines.

Quiet and Considerate Behavior

One of the most important rules when using public transport in Budapest is to keep noise to a minimum. Loud conversations, music, and phone calls are generally frowned upon. If you need to make a phone call, it's best to keep your voice low or wait until you’re off the train or bus.

Respecting Personal Space

During peak hours, public transport can become crowded, but it's still important to be mindful of personal space. Avoid standing too close to others, and if there is extra room, try to give people space. It’s also polite to move to the side or rear of the bus or tram to allow others to board.

Keeping Right on Escalators

A common practice in Budapest (and in many European cities) is to stand on the right side of the escalator, allowing those who are in a hurry to pass on the left. This unwritten rule is especially important in the metro, where escalators can be long and busy. Ignoring this rule can frustrate locals who are accustomed to this orderly system.

Offering Seats

While it’s not required, it’s considered polite to offer your seat to elderly passengers, pregnant women, and people with disabilities. Most buses and trams have designated priority seating, but if you’re seated and someone who appears to need a seat boards, it’s a kind gesture to offer your seat.

Attending theatres and concerts

Budapest boasts a rich cultural scene with a strong tradition of classical music, opera, theatre, and contemporary performances. The venues range from the historic state opera house to modern theatres and concert halls, and understanding the expected behavior in these settings will ensure you have an enjoyable and respectful experience.

Dress Code

In Hungary, attending a performance in a theatre or concert hall is often considered a more formal occasion, particularly at prestigious venues like the Hungarian State Opera House or the Franz Liszt Academy of Music. The expected dress code varies depending on the venue and the type of performance:

• Opera and Classical Concerts: These are usually more formal events, especially at historic venues. Men are generally expected to wear suits or at least smart business casual attire (such as a blazer and dress pants), while women typically wear elegant dresses or formal outfits. For special performances, such as premieres or galas, black tie or cocktail attire may be preferred.

  
  

• Theatre Performances: At most theatres, smart casual is appropriate, but for certain plays, especially premieres or classical pieces, audiences may still opt for more formal wear. Casual wear, such as jeans and t-shirts, would generally be considered inappropriate for these settings.

  
  

• Modern and Contemporary Performances: In more casual or avant-garde theatres, dress codes may be more relaxed. However, it’s still polite to dress neatly, even if the atmosphere is more informal.

Arrival and Punctuality

Hungarians place great importance on punctuality, and this is especially true when attending performances. Arriving on time is essential for both practical and cultural reasons:

• Early Arrival: It’s recommended to arrive at least 15-30 minutes before the performance begins. This gives you enough time to find your seat, store any belongings, and settle in without rushing. It also allows you to enjoy the ambiance of the venue, as many of Budapest’s theatres and concert halls are architectural masterpieces.

  
  

• Late Arrival: If you arrive late to a performance, you may not be allowed to enter until there’s an appropriate break (such as during a scene change or intermission). This is done to avoid disturbing other audience members and the performers. Some venues are strict about this policy, so it’s best to check beforehand and plan accordingly.

Behavior During the Performance

Respecting the performers and fellow audience members is key when attending any cultural performance in Budapest. Here are some specific guidelines to keep in mind:

• Silence is Golden: One of the most important rules during any performance is to remain quiet and attentive. Conversations, rustling of bags or papers, and loud whispering can be distracting for both the performers and other audience members. Mobile phones should be switched off or set to silent mode before the performance begins. Even a vibrating phone can be disruptive in a quiet theatre or concert hall.

  
  

• No Photography or Video Recording: Taking photos or videos during performances is usually prohibited, especially in formal venues like the opera or symphony hall. This rule applies to both professional cameras and smartphones. Flash photography can be particularly distracting for performers. However, some contemporary performances or smaller venues may allow it, so it’s best to check the venue’s policy beforehand.

  
  

• Applause: Applause is a key part of the performance experience, but knowing when to applaud is important. In classical music concerts, for example, it’s customary to wait until the entire piece is finished before clapping, rather than applauding after each movement. Experienced concertgoers often wait for cues from other audience members or the conductor. In theatre performances, it’s standard to applaud at the end of scenes or acts, and of course, at the end of the performance during the curtain call.

  
  

• Standing Ovations: Standing ovations are less common in Hungary than in some other countries, so they are usually reserved for truly outstanding performances. If you feel the performance deserves it, feel free to stand, but don’t be surprised if not everyone in the audience follows suit.

Intermission (színházi szünet)

Most performances, especially longer ones, will have an intermission (called "szünet" in Hungarian), typically lasting 15-30 minutes. This break serves as a time to relax, use the restroom, or enjoy refreshments in the lobby (usually with very long queues).

• Refreshments: Many theatres and concert halls offer a bar or café where you can purchase drinks or snacks during the intermission. Popular choices include champagne, wine, or coffee, along with light snacks. It’s common to see audience members socializing over a drink in the lobby during this time. However, bringing food or drinks into the actual performance hall is generally not allowed, unless otherwise specified by the venue.

  
  

• Returning to Your Seat: When the intermission ends, it’s important to return to your seat promptly to avoid disrupting the second half of the performance. Ushers may give a signal a few minutes before the performance is about to resume, allowing everyone to return to their seats in an orderly manner.

Exiting the Venue

At the end of the performance, it’s customary to remain seated until the performers have left the stage and the lights are turned back on. Some audience members may begin exiting during the final applause, but in Budapest, it’s considered polite to stay until the end of the curtain call or until the last musician leaves the stage (in the case of concerts). Leaving early can be seen as disrespectful, both to the performers and to fellow audience members.

Behaving in Social Settings

Respecting Personal Boundaries

While Hungarians are generally warm and friendly, they also value personal space and boundaries, particularly with strangers. Physical contact, like hugging or touching during conversations, is reserved for close friends and family. When interacting with strangers or in formal settings, avoid standing too close to others and keep hand gestures and body language respectful and moderate.

Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

While holding hands and mild displays of affection between couples are common and accepted, overt public displays of affection, such as passionate kissing or excessive touching, are less common and may draw disapproving looks, especially in more conservative settings.

Smoking in Public

Hungary has strict laws regarding smoking in public places. Smoking is banned in all indoor public spaces, including restaurants, bars, and cafes. However, outdoor terraces and designated smoking areas are common, especially in Budapest’s vibrant outdoor café culture. When in doubt, look for “No Smoking” signs, and always ensure you’re in a designated smoking area before lighting up.

Alcohol Consumption

Hungary is known for its wine and beer culture, and drinking in social settings is common. However, public intoxication is frowned upon, and it's best to consume alcohol in moderation, especially in formal or public settings. Drinking in parks or on the streets is technically illegal, though it is not always strictly enforced in more relaxed areas like the Budapest nightlife districts. Still, it’s safer to stick to licensed venues like bars and restaurants for drinking.

Cultural Sensitivity

Understanding Hungarian Pride

Hungarians are generally proud of their country’s history, culture, and language, which is one of the oldest and most unique in Europe. It’s appreciated when foreigners show interest in Hungarian culture, whether that’s by trying local dishes, learning a few phrases in Hungarian, or engaging with local customs.

However, it’s important to approach sensitive topics like Hungary’s political history, national identity, and relations with neighboring countries (such as Slovakia and Romania) with care. While many Hungarians enjoy discussing history, politics, and current events, it’s best to listen and ask questions rather than offer strong opinions unless you’re familiar with the complexities of these issues.

Religion

Hungary is a predominantly Christian country, with the majority of the population identifying as Roman Catholic. However, religious practices vary widely, and many Hungarians are non-practicing. It’s generally safe to discuss religion, but be respectful of differing viewpoints and practices, particularly in more conservative areas of the country. In Budapest, you’ll find a mix of religious and secular attitudes, and it’s usually easy to gauge whether a topic is appropriate based on the social context.

In Conclusion

Budapest is a welcoming city that thrives on a balance of tradition and modernity. Understanding the local social norms, etiquette, and expectations will not only make your trip smoother but also help you connect with Hungarians on a deeper level. Whether you're exploring historic sites, enjoying the vibrant culinary scene, or navigating public transportation, being respectful of local customs will enhance your experience and help you make the most of your time in this beautiful city.